How to find your edge—and use it to win your own game
Read time: 6 minutes
For so many years, I believed the path to "success" was fairly straightforward:
- Play it safe
- Follow the rules
- Do what others are doing
Some career pathways seemed guaranteed to lead to success, and I believed that as long as I worked hard and did things “the right way,” everything would work out.
It’s one of the reasons I became a doctor - a steady, respected profession, with a fairly well defined route.
But that didn’t turn out to be true—at least not for me.
Instead of feeling accomplished, I felt drained.
Instead of making progress, I felt stuck.
Instead of feeling free, I felt trapped.
Rather than discovering and leveraging my own unique skills, I was following the status quo.
It wasn’t until I became burnt out and disillusioned that I started to question my path.
At that point, I realised something simple but powerful:
No one can outdo me at being me.
- My skills.
- My perspective.
- My experiences (even the messy ones).
I realised they were leverage.
We all have an unfair advantage, a unique edge that sets us apart. The key is figuring out what it is—and using it. Here’s a framework that helped me figure it out.
1. Spot the thing that feels effortless
Some things just flow naturally, without much trying or overthinking. Quite often we overlook them because they feel too easy.
For me, it was simplifying and communicating ideas; taking messy thoughts and relaying them so they click for other people. I never thought of it as a skill, but it is.
Question: What comes so naturally to you that you almost don’t value it? Ask other people, “What do I do that seems effortless to you but hard to others?”
2. Identify your weird skill mix
Many of us are sitting on strange combinations that no one else has. A friend of mine is a designer who also codes. She can mock up and build things faster than a two-person team, and that mix is her edge. I bring strategy and storytelling. It’s not common, but it works.
Question: What’s your mix? List 5 skills you have, then look for 2 that don’t usually go together. They may not make sense on paper, but that’s your mix.
3. See where others struggle
What do you see others struggling with that you do without thinking? I often help friends with delivering a pitch or a talk. It’s something other people find daunting or stressful, but I seem to be good at. Again I never saw it as a real skill, but it absolutely is.
Question: What do people often ask you for help with? That’s a big clue.
4. Follow your energy and joy
If there’s something you’d happily do for free, that’s often a signal towards your edge. Something you lose track of time doing, or that you’d do even if nobody paid you. When you follow the thing that energises you, it often leads to your most impactful work.
Question: When was the last time you lost track of time doing something?
5. Own your full story
One thing I’ve learned: your full story matters—including the hard or messy parts. In fact, this part gives you depth that others can relate to. In my case, pivoting away from medicine was difficult, but it became something I could connect over and guide others through.
Question: What are the moments in your life that were challenging and changed how you see the world?
6. Turn pain into power
The things you’ve overcome can be a roadmap for someone else. Experiencing burnout in the past, for example, helps me help others avoid it. The hardest chapters in your life might be the exact thing someone else needs to hear about.
Question: What have I gone through that I never want someone else to go through alone?
Your edge isn’t something you need to chase. It’s already there in your skills, story and experiences. I’ve learnt you don’t need to be more like anyone else, just more like you.
Step one: spot your edge. Step two: start using it—and see what changes.
Hope this helps!
Speak soon,
Dupé
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