6 ways to quiet self-doubt and start show up
Read time: 5 minutes
Earlier this week, I got a LinkedIn message from an ex-colleague I hadn’t spoken to since my days working as a doctor, over 10 years ago. They’d come across some of my posts and told me they’d love to start sharing their own ideas online.
“I need to put myself out there, but I’m scared of what people will think!” is what her message said.
And I totally get it.
For a long time, the thought of sharing anything online made my stomach churn. I’d write something, then delete it.
I’d picture people from school or old colleagues reading it and rolling their eyes. Even though I’m fairly confident and self-assured, I had a very real fear of being seen.
Here's what I've learnt: most of the time, people aren’t scrutinising us, we just think they are. We believe everyone’s paying attention to us, when in reality they are wrapped up in their own world.
And it’s not just about posting online. It’s interviews, presentations, new opportunities; that fear can creep in anywhere.
From my own journey I know that the real barrier isn’t ability or knowledge. It’s self-doubt.
So how do you move past it? Here are six mindset shifts that really helped me, and I hope they’ll help you too.
1. Take action before you feel ready
When I first launched this newsletter, I definitely did not feel “ready.” I spent ages thinking about the title, format, and content, wondering if anyone would read it. But I set a date, and pushed it out. And I’m still figuring it out as I go; moving forward mattered more than perfection.
Tip: Courage follows action. Pick one thing that feels uncomfortable, set a deadline, and follow through, whether you’re ready or not.
2. Practise in a safe space first
I find it always helps to have a practice ground for whatever I’m doing. Whether it’s running a workshop, doing an interview, or posting online, I’ll often send a draft to someone I trust or share my thoughts in a closed group first. Even a bit of feedback can give you a lot of confidence and reassurance.
Tip: Start where feedback feels safe, and use it to build your confidence, before sharing more widely.
3. Stop worrying about other people’s opinions
A friend of mine delayed starting her podcast for months. Not because she didn’t know how to get it set up, but because she imagined her ex-colleagues judging her. I asked her directly: “Are these people living the life you’d like?” Admitting that they weren’t gave her confidence to get started.
Tip: If someone isn’t where you’d like to be, don’t give power to their opinion. Instead, focus on what you actually want to achieve.
4. Separate your worth from the outcome
A friend said to me, “If I don’t get this job, I’m clearly not good enough.” I winced, because I’ve thought the exact same thing in the past. But having experienced so many rejections myself, I now know that outcomes don’t define you. You can fail at something and still be capable and worthy.
Tip: When you stop tying your self-worth to results, it becomes easier to take risks and bounce back quickly from setbacks.
5. Treat confidence like a skill, not a trait
So many of us assume confidence is something you’re either born with or not. But usually, those who seem confident are just well-practised. They’ve learnt how to prepare, how to recover when things go wrong, how to keep showing up. Which means the rest of us can learn too.
Tip: See confidence as a skill you can build, that grows with practice. Author and speaker Heather Monahan shares brilliant content on building confidence.
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So if you’ve been waiting to feel completely ready before taking the leap, consider this your reminder!
Readiness doesn’t come first, the action itself does. Fear is part of the process, but moving forward anyway creates momentum.
You’re more prepared than you realise. What’s one small step you could take this week, even if it scares you?
Speak soon,
Dupé
PS: Whenever you're ready, feel free to enquire about working together: Get guidance on how to be more visible and grow your brand. Whether you need 1:1 coaching or ready-to-post content, hit reply and let’s chat!
