4 ways to define success on your terms—and build a life you love
Read time: 3 minutes
I was on a panel at a tech event earlier this week, and the moderator asked me an interesting question: “Dupe, what does success look like to you?”
Success obviously looks different for everyone, but the question got me thinking about how society as a whole continues to view it. For so long — and to too many people — success has been defined by things like:
• Money
• Followers
• A fancy title
• 70-hour work weeks
• A luxury car and a big house
When I was asked what success looks like, I realised how different my version is (and always has been). For me, success looks like:
• Being a good person
• Fulfilling my own potential
• Building something I’m proud of
• Doing something I genuinely enjoy
• Having lasting impact on other people
• Working to my schedule, not someone else’s
• Being able to pick my kids up from school daily
• Having the freedom to work from wherever I want
To me, this is success — and it’s the version I’m working to build every day.
Yes, money is important — it gives you choice and freedom. Yes, community and followers are important — they provide visibility and leverage. But I’ve come to realise that these are only truly valuable when the other elements exist too.
On my own journey, I found that the only way I could achieve the version of success I wanted was by leaving the rat race, becoming my own boss, and building something of my own. The traditional 9-to-5 wasn’t working for me:
• Early wake up and commute to work
• Minimal time spent with family
• Projects I didn’t care about
• Meetings all day long
• Office politics
• Exhaustion
Both as a hospital doctor and as a corporate worker in the City, the model was pretty much the same. Many people don’t question it. But I did — because it didn’t work for me. It wasn’t giving me the autonomy to build the life I wanted.
In my view, the best careers or businesses don’t just generate income — they create freedom, joy, and a life by design.
And it may not be immediate. The journey to getting there may be tough and will require a lot of sacrifice. But ultimately, the mission should be to use our careers to help us build an amazing life.
Four practical ways to define success for yourself
So how do you define a version of success that actually fits your life? Here are a few questions that have helped me — and might help you too.
1. What are your inputs?
Look at how you're spending your time, energy, and attention each week — both in work and in life. Are these aligned with the outcomes you care about most? If not, something needs to shift.
2. What are your success filters?
Write down 3–5 clear criteria that define success for you. Examples: “I want to build something I’m proud of,” “I want to work with people I respect,” or “I want flexibility over my time.” Use these as filters when making decisions or choosing what to say yes (or no) to.
3. How have others around you done things?
It’s helpful to seek out people who’ve done things differently or taken a non-linear path. When you ask what success means to them — and what trade-offs they’ve made — you realise there’s more than one way to do it.
4. Do you have achievement and alignment?
Something I’ve learnt is that hitting your goals is different from hitting the right goals. Every few months, pause and ask: “Is what I’m doing moving me closer to the life I want?” If the answer is no, it’s time to adjust.
The key is to stop chasing a version of success that isn't yours. Instead, define what success looks like for you, both in life and business. Then take intentional steps toward that every single day.
I’d love to hear—what does success look like to you right now? Hit reply and let me know.
Speak soon,
Dupé
PS: Thank you so much for continuing to read this newsletter. I’ve had a lot of amazing feedback over the last few weeks and I very much appreciate it!
PPS: whenever you're ready, feel free to enquire about working together: Get guidance on how to be more visible and grow your brand. Whether you’re looking for 1:1 coaching or ready-to-post content, hit reply and let’s chat!
